I remember in my mid-twenties a family member telling me I should be ashamed of myself for something I'd said. I quickly responded, "I have never done anything that I am ashamed of. I am proud to say that some 23 years later I still have the same feeling. I have no regrets about the life I have lived or the choices I've made. Now don't get me wrong, there are choices that I made that when I look back I realize I could have possibly been more willing to compromise or more open to hearing another point of view. But at the end of the day, as old "blue eyes" would say, “I Did It My Way."
Of course doing it my way didn't come cheap. I have the bumps and bruises to prove it. I paid the cost to be the boss. What I know for sure, is that every person and every experience that comes into our lives has the potential to serve our higher good if we allow it. The problem often is we are so caught up in what is happening or appears to be happening that we miss the magic and the lesson of the moment. Now having lived a half century, I have learned how to except the bitter with the sweet and keep it moving. When I reflect back, not with regret, but bought and paid for wisdom and maturity I know I wasted a lot of time and energy on things and people that were not worthy of my time and talents. I also, know that in my often self-righteous stance, yes, I can be self-righteous at times, but I'm getting better: I now know that I could have been more willing to cut the other person a little slack. About six years ago I read a great book called, The Four Agreements by Ron Miguel Ruiz. Simply put, the four agreements are as follows: 1) Be Impeccable with Your Word 2) Don't Take Anything Personally 3) Don't Make Assumptions 4) Always Do Your Best. Without previously having a name for it or a conceptual framework, this was and is how I've lived most of my life. Which I suppose, has allowed me to live without regret. Now I must confess agreement # 2 is a really hard one on the road of life. However, once you understand that what most people are reacting to is not about you, but instead their own hopes, wishes and fears it becomes a bit easier. What I know for sure is that it is vitally important that we managed our emotions. Manage being different from controlling. When we manage our emotions, we allow them to flow, yet we are keenly aware of their impact on us personally and possibly the impact they may have on others. Given the fact that by nature I am a person of extremes; either very hot or very cold, I've learned to keep my emotional thermostat at room temperature. This allows me to manage my emotions quite well in that I tend not to go too far in either direction. Unfortunately, Queen Peri-menopause has come along and threatened to throw my emotional and body thermostat completely off course. As a result, it is much more challenging to maintain that room temperature. Nevertheless, I work on it every day. Some days I get it right and some days I surrender to the Universe and Queen menopause and pray that none of my family, friends or colleagues have taken anything I've said or done personally. (The Second Agreement).
Initially, upon turning 50, I was feeling a bit uneasy. You see the day after I turned 50, Michael Jackson died suddenly. Then there was Billy Mays and most recently E. Lynn Harris. They say there is nothing to remind you about your own mortality more than seeing those in your age or peer group make their transition. For a brief time I found it all so unsettling. I was asking myself, what's up with all the 50 something people passing away. However, recently, I was listening to the video of blog of Cassandra McShepard (fashion designer for the late Phyllis Hyman). Cassandra made the statement that "death reminds us to live". That statement resonated for me. I realized that what I was witnessing was my wake up call to be even more on purpose about my physical and emotional well being. To protect my body temple from the crown of my head to the soles of my fit. I realized that I was literally in a fight for my very life. If I am not absolutely on purpose about how I live The Third Chapter of my life I could find myself in serious trouble. Now though I am very conscious about my eating, nutritional and herbal supplements, I'm a bit of a slacker when it comes to exercise regiment. As a result of having lost about 25lbs last two years, I'm feeling like I don't look too bad for a grandmother of 50. Confession, I've been a slacker on the exercise. This is where I will have to put in the work. If I am not absolutely on purpose about this issue of moving and exercise, I could find myself for the first time in my life, with huge regrets. Okay, I've put it out there and now I have to be accountable not only to myself but to my blog readers as well. Stay on me; I want you to, really.
After years of self-work and some professional therapy I can see myself and others so much more clear. I absolutely love and adore the wise woman I am becoming. I step into this Third Chapter of life wiser, more relaxed, more willing to listening, able to go with the flow, whatever the flow may be. I'm realizing that at this stage of life, the only person that I am even remotely in charge of is me. Time to really exhale. Everyone is on their own personal journey toward wholeness and no one but God has the right or the responsibility to interfere with that process. I plan to ride this thing call life still the wheels come off. A wise woman once said, "Death will have to find me". When the Creator calls my number, I hope to be laughing, dancing and if I'm really lucky getting down right naughty with a fine young man that is at least 10 years my junior. LOL.
Non, je regreette rien- I Have No Regrets.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Happy 60th Birthday to the Late Phyllis Hyman
Had Phyllis Hyman been alive today she would have turned 60 years old, July 6, 2009. Her life was cut short by a myriad of complex issues that we can only speculate about and that were probably even unclear to Phyllis herself. I have been a true Phyllis Hyman fan for over 20 years. Throughout this piece I will refer to Phyllis Hyman as simply, PH. Her sultry contralto voice has ushered me through break ups and feelings of being head over heels in love. Songs such as Living All Alone, Old Friend and my all time favorite, You Just Don't Know.
I always felt a connection to Phyllis, we share the same zodiac sign, Cancer. Yes, sweet but very complex and extremely sensitive. Through the literary genius of biographer, Jason A. Michael, who I feel has written the definitive and what may come to be the only biography written about PH, combined with countless hours of reviewing interviews, I have come to believe we share much more. Like Phyllis, I have a weakness for the cafe' au late, pretty boys with facial hair and dreamy eyes. We shared the tendency to speak our minds and live out our convictions even when it might be to our own personal detriment. We stand steadfast to our perceived truths. We also shared the often painful experience of seemingly not quite getting it right with intimate relationships. Our inability to compromise or settle and more important, our fears often being at the "heart" of the matter.
On a more deeper and personal level, we both shared the dark demons of clinical depression. Phyllis was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I thank the Universe, family and friends and my unwavering commitment to living in a new way, for the fact that I have not had a clinical episode in 20 years. However, I still take one day at a time.
As a side bar I'd like to note that there is no medical test to determine a chemical imbalance in the brain. The diagnosis is based solely on a series of behavior traits outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM): unlike the tests we have for diabetes, cancer and high blood pressure. As a result of bad brain chemistry gone a muck, there are large numbers of people going around under and over medicated. Now before anyone starts to slam me, I am in no way suggesting that if you are taking medication and it is working for you that you stop. However, I am saying that in my opinion, we are not born with faulty brain chemistry and that there needs to be more emphasis given to the environmental factors that contribute to depression and other mental illnesses. Please excuse me while I step down from my soapbox, clearly I digressed.
PH and I also shared an intuitive quality that is characteristic of many born under the sign of Cancer. We tend to feel the pain of others and to take that pain very personally, often to our own detriment. PH experienced several loses: her grandmother, then mom and a personal friend within the span of a few months. In addition, she was keenly aware and troubled by the plight of the world in general and the black community in particular. She also had serious financial problems, many due to her own poor judgment and addiction. The IRS was one of her debtors. Despite the focus on PH being an uncontrollable diva, she was at her core a very giving and compassionate person.
As most of PH's loyal fans know, she took her life on June 30, 1995, 6 days before her 46th birthday. Many have speculated as to the reason for her suicide; anywhere from mental illness, substance abuse, not receiving her just due in the music industry, failed intimate relationships, weight gain, the list goes on. Best guess says it was all this and more. Many question why didn't Phyllis get help, why didn't she take medication, why didn't her friends and family intervene. The challenges PH faced were extremely complex and intricately linked. Not only was there the possibility of losing her creative muse by taking mind numbing medications, she also was the breadwinner for a staff of people. Though I don't know this to be fact, I doubt if Phyllis had a nice health insurance plan that afforded her the luxury of an extensive stay in rehab. Please note that according to her biography, she was in short-term rehab several times. The time off from the road and the financial resources to get the help she needed just weren't there. PH saw suicide as the only way out and that it was her choice to make. In her suicide note, she simply said, "I'm tired".
Author and journalist, Jill Nelson recently offered a commentary regarding the untimely death of musical genius Michael Jackson and his possible drug addiction/lethal overdose. She states: "When you are in pain, excruciating pain(emotional or physical) drugs are your friends. Sometimes the only ones you have. I honestly believe human beings DO have a finite limit on the amount of pain they can withstand at any given moment or period of time, and no other person can tell another what their limit is, should be or how long that pain should be endured" (http://www.niaonline.com/ggmsblog/?m=200906).
Those who knew PH personally and those of us who came to know her through her music still mourn the lost of one of the great vocal divas of the twentieth century. While she may not have experienced the records sales, she joins the ranks of great vocal divas such as Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughn and Minnie Ripperton. Thanks to the TV One series Unsung: The Phyllis Hyman Story, a new generation of music lovers haven been introduced to the musical genius of PH.
While I applaud the effort, I personally felt that Unsung failed to capture PH in all her diversity. Instead, TV One and the Hyman Estate, it would appear opted to focus on her emotional pathologies, rather than the kind, complex and yes emotionally troubled individual she was. Absent was the mention of her strong social, racial and gender consciousness and her belief in black economic empowerment. The fact that PH gave her time, star status and resources for HIV/AIDS activism and for the rights of women and the GLBT community. For those interested in a more holistic view of who PH was, please purchase Jason A. Michael's biography, Strength of a Woman: The Phyllis Hyman Story.
As we celebrate the birthday and musical legacy of Phyllis Linda Hyman, we can best honor her life and her untimely death by being vigilant in maintaining our physical and emotional well being and reaching out to those around us who may be crying out. Be a true friend, don't wait until your sister or brother friend burst into flames before you notice they are in trouble. Remember to take time out of each day to rejuvenate your spirit. Be it prayer, meditation, exercise, whatever works for you. Lastly, remember the body temple is one perfect unit connected to both the inner and outer cosmos. Be careful how you treat your mind, body and spirit. Love yourself and that love will radiate to others. Glenda Gracia, Phyllis' manager and sister friend stated that it was not that Phyllis didn't know that she was loved, it was Phyllis' inability to love herself. Gracia goes on to say that if you cannot love yourself unconditionally then you will not be able to fully give or receive love. (Paraphrased from Strength of a Woman).
Phyllis Linda Hyman on this your 60th birthday we honor your musical legacy and your life serves as a blue print for how to live and how not to live. May the readers of this posting see it as a declaration of the will to survive in spite of our circumstances.
I always felt a connection to Phyllis, we share the same zodiac sign, Cancer. Yes, sweet but very complex and extremely sensitive. Through the literary genius of biographer, Jason A. Michael, who I feel has written the definitive and what may come to be the only biography written about PH, combined with countless hours of reviewing interviews, I have come to believe we share much more. Like Phyllis, I have a weakness for the cafe' au late, pretty boys with facial hair and dreamy eyes. We shared the tendency to speak our minds and live out our convictions even when it might be to our own personal detriment. We stand steadfast to our perceived truths. We also shared the often painful experience of seemingly not quite getting it right with intimate relationships. Our inability to compromise or settle and more important, our fears often being at the "heart" of the matter.
On a more deeper and personal level, we both shared the dark demons of clinical depression. Phyllis was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I thank the Universe, family and friends and my unwavering commitment to living in a new way, for the fact that I have not had a clinical episode in 20 years. However, I still take one day at a time.
As a side bar I'd like to note that there is no medical test to determine a chemical imbalance in the brain. The diagnosis is based solely on a series of behavior traits outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM): unlike the tests we have for diabetes, cancer and high blood pressure. As a result of bad brain chemistry gone a muck, there are large numbers of people going around under and over medicated. Now before anyone starts to slam me, I am in no way suggesting that if you are taking medication and it is working for you that you stop. However, I am saying that in my opinion, we are not born with faulty brain chemistry and that there needs to be more emphasis given to the environmental factors that contribute to depression and other mental illnesses. Please excuse me while I step down from my soapbox, clearly I digressed.
PH and I also shared an intuitive quality that is characteristic of many born under the sign of Cancer. We tend to feel the pain of others and to take that pain very personally, often to our own detriment. PH experienced several loses: her grandmother, then mom and a personal friend within the span of a few months. In addition, she was keenly aware and troubled by the plight of the world in general and the black community in particular. She also had serious financial problems, many due to her own poor judgment and addiction. The IRS was one of her debtors. Despite the focus on PH being an uncontrollable diva, she was at her core a very giving and compassionate person.
As most of PH's loyal fans know, she took her life on June 30, 1995, 6 days before her 46th birthday. Many have speculated as to the reason for her suicide; anywhere from mental illness, substance abuse, not receiving her just due in the music industry, failed intimate relationships, weight gain, the list goes on. Best guess says it was all this and more. Many question why didn't Phyllis get help, why didn't she take medication, why didn't her friends and family intervene. The challenges PH faced were extremely complex and intricately linked. Not only was there the possibility of losing her creative muse by taking mind numbing medications, she also was the breadwinner for a staff of people. Though I don't know this to be fact, I doubt if Phyllis had a nice health insurance plan that afforded her the luxury of an extensive stay in rehab. Please note that according to her biography, she was in short-term rehab several times. The time off from the road and the financial resources to get the help she needed just weren't there. PH saw suicide as the only way out and that it was her choice to make. In her suicide note, she simply said, "I'm tired".
Author and journalist, Jill Nelson recently offered a commentary regarding the untimely death of musical genius Michael Jackson and his possible drug addiction/lethal overdose. She states: "When you are in pain, excruciating pain(emotional or physical) drugs are your friends. Sometimes the only ones you have. I honestly believe human beings DO have a finite limit on the amount of pain they can withstand at any given moment or period of time, and no other person can tell another what their limit is, should be or how long that pain should be endured" (http://www.niaonline.com/ggmsblog/?m=200906).
Those who knew PH personally and those of us who came to know her through her music still mourn the lost of one of the great vocal divas of the twentieth century. While she may not have experienced the records sales, she joins the ranks of great vocal divas such as Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughn and Minnie Ripperton. Thanks to the TV One series Unsung: The Phyllis Hyman Story, a new generation of music lovers haven been introduced to the musical genius of PH.
While I applaud the effort, I personally felt that Unsung failed to capture PH in all her diversity. Instead, TV One and the Hyman Estate, it would appear opted to focus on her emotional pathologies, rather than the kind, complex and yes emotionally troubled individual she was. Absent was the mention of her strong social, racial and gender consciousness and her belief in black economic empowerment. The fact that PH gave her time, star status and resources for HIV/AIDS activism and for the rights of women and the GLBT community. For those interested in a more holistic view of who PH was, please purchase Jason A. Michael's biography, Strength of a Woman: The Phyllis Hyman Story.
As we celebrate the birthday and musical legacy of Phyllis Linda Hyman, we can best honor her life and her untimely death by being vigilant in maintaining our physical and emotional well being and reaching out to those around us who may be crying out. Be a true friend, don't wait until your sister or brother friend burst into flames before you notice they are in trouble. Remember to take time out of each day to rejuvenate your spirit. Be it prayer, meditation, exercise, whatever works for you. Lastly, remember the body temple is one perfect unit connected to both the inner and outer cosmos. Be careful how you treat your mind, body and spirit. Love yourself and that love will radiate to others. Glenda Gracia, Phyllis' manager and sister friend stated that it was not that Phyllis didn't know that she was loved, it was Phyllis' inability to love herself. Gracia goes on to say that if you cannot love yourself unconditionally then you will not be able to fully give or receive love. (Paraphrased from Strength of a Woman).
Phyllis Linda Hyman on this your 60th birthday we honor your musical legacy and your life serves as a blue print for how to live and how not to live. May the readers of this posting see it as a declaration of the will to survive in spite of our circumstances.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY... R.I.P.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
An Ode to Phyllis Linda Hyman
In Loving Memory
July 6, 1949- June 30, 1995
(This ode was written on the day after Phyllis's death)
Your smokey voice helped me through so many rough times. You gave me understanding of love lost and found, you reminded me "What You Won't Do for Love".
I know you must be singing in heaven with the other divas: Bessie, Sara, Billie and Minnie. All sisters taken away too soon by the bitter sweet of life that asks too much and gave too little. It must be like a gathering of
"Old Friends".
Your intense eyes, full lips and voluptuous six-foot Goddess stature left men wanting and dreamy eyed. You had them "Under Your Spell".
Your lyrics reflect both the joy and pain of love. I so wish you had found true love "Somewhere in Your Life Time".
Now you're gone at age 45, just at the peak of realizing your worth and possibilities.
"You Were in the Prime of Your Life".
On June 30, 1995, you chose to removed yourself from this earthly plane. Life got to be too much, you
"Just "Couldn't Take It Anymore".
Missing was a true sister and brother circle to hold and protect you when the going got tough. Someone to insure you got the help and support you needed. Someone to say,
"This Too Shall Pass Away"
You sang such sad songs of love. Always searching for someone to love you, but never really learning to love the person within. "The Answer Was You".
So long Phyllis, we love you and we honor you. " You Refused to Be Lonely". May you now find comfort in the arms of God. As long as we speak your name and play your music your legacy and shining spirit will live on.
July 6, 1949- June 30, 1995
(This ode was written on the day after Phyllis's death)
Your smokey voice helped me through so many rough times. You gave me understanding of love lost and found, you reminded me "What You Won't Do for Love".
I know you must be singing in heaven with the other divas: Bessie, Sara, Billie and Minnie. All sisters taken away too soon by the bitter sweet of life that asks too much and gave too little. It must be like a gathering of
"Old Friends".
Your intense eyes, full lips and voluptuous six-foot Goddess stature left men wanting and dreamy eyed. You had them "Under Your Spell".
Your lyrics reflect both the joy and pain of love. I so wish you had found true love "Somewhere in Your Life Time".
Now you're gone at age 45, just at the peak of realizing your worth and possibilities.
"You Were in the Prime of Your Life".
On June 30, 1995, you chose to removed yourself from this earthly plane. Life got to be too much, you
"Just "Couldn't Take It Anymore".
Missing was a true sister and brother circle to hold and protect you when the going got tough. Someone to insure you got the help and support you needed. Someone to say,
"This Too Shall Pass Away"
You sang such sad songs of love. Always searching for someone to love you, but never really learning to love the person within. "The Answer Was You".
So long Phyllis, we love you and we honor you. " You Refused to Be Lonely". May you now find comfort in the arms of God. As long as we speak your name and play your music your legacy and shining spirit will live on.
* copyright 1996 all rights reserved.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Take the Phyllis Hyman (PH) Triva Quiz
1. What was the name of the neighborhood where Phyllis grew up?
2. In what southern state does PH have ancestral roots?
3. Who is Phyllis named for?
4. PH is from a family of 7. What is her birth order?
5. What is the name of the music teacher that first discovered and cultivated PH's musical talent?
6. What was the name of PH's first boyfriend?
7. Who is the jazz musician that gave PH her first successful recording?/What was the title of the song?
8. What was the name of the band PH started in Miami?
9. What record label was PH signed with at the time of her death?
10. What female jazz vocalist had the greatest influence on PH?
11.What famous guitarist played with Phyllis in the early days?
12. True or False - Vocal stylist, Rachelle Ferrel sang backup vocals for PH.
13. What astrological sign was PH born under?
14. Name the song writer that penned the tune "Living All Alone"?
15. Name the 1989 movie where PH played a singer and prostitute?
16. What Steven Spielberg movie was PH considered for a role in?/What character?
17. True or False - PH was offered $100,000 to perform in apartheid South Africa in the 80's and she refused.
18. Name the designer that created PH's signature fashion look?
19. What is the name of PH's former husband?
20. What were the three haunting words found in PH's suicide note?
21. What was the major humanitarian cause that PH contributed her time, talent and resources to?
Answers:
1) St. Clair Village 2) North Carolina 3) Her father, Phillip Hyman 4) The oldest
5) David Tamburri 6) Richard Wall 7) Norman Connors/"Betcha By Golly Wow
8) The PH Factor 9) P.I.R 10) Nancy Wilson 11) Hiram Bullock 12) True
13) Cancer 14) Cynthia Biggs 15) The Kill Reflex 16) The Color Purple, in the role of Shugg Avery 17) True 18) Cassandra McShepard 19) Larry Alexander 20) "I'm tired". 21) HIV/AIDS
* Primary source: Biography- (Strength of a Woman- Jason A. Michael 2007).
5) David Tamburri 6) Richard Wall 7) Norman Connors/"Betcha By Golly Wow
8) The PH Factor 9) P.I.R 10) Nancy Wilson 11) Hiram Bullock 12) True
13) Cancer 14) Cynthia Biggs 15) The Kill Reflex 16) The Color Purple, in the role of Shugg Avery 17) True 18) Cassandra McShepard 19) Larry Alexander 20) "I'm tired". 21) HIV/AIDS
* Primary source: Biography- (Strength of a Woman- Jason A. Michael 2007).
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Turning 50 and Traveling Lite/Light
I approach this posting with tremendous gratitude for a life that so far has been filled with tremendous opportunity and blessings. As I approach 24 June 1959: twelve midnight, a half a century ago. WOW! It's more than I can wrap my brain around. A life that can best be described as a roller coaster ride of the Third Kind. I have seen tremendous highs and experienced lows that I thought I would never recover from. Yet, with God's amazing Grace and the kindness of Angels that the Universe has sent my way I approach this day wiser,stronger and a better human being. Be sure to checkout the video clips highlighted throughout this post.
In my youth, I never imagined myself living long. Maybe 50, 52 at the most. Who knows what the future holds. However, as I step into 50, I have a tremendous desire to live. I have (2) beautiful grandsons who I absolutely adore. It is my desire to see these boys grow to become exceptional men among men. I take one day at time, knowing that each day is another opportunity to witness Grace realized and another chance to get it right.
What I know for sure is that none of us gets out this life alive. I'm living every moment like it is absolutely Golden. I'm traveling lite. Leaving the baggage behind. Whomever has hurt me or I perceived has hurt me in their quest for self-actualization is forgiven in full as God has forgiven me. For those who I may have hurt with my actions or words, please know that hurt or harm was never my intention. One thing that I know for sure is that every person and event has the potential to serve my higher good if I let it. Turning 50 and traveling lite means just that. No baggage, (Bag Lady be gone) no pain. Just pure Joy. I know that there is only One Presence, One Power: God the Good, the Omnipotent, the Omniscient, the Omnipresent. Everything else is a manifestation of my own faulty thinking. My E.G.O. ( Easy God Out).
As I navigate through this 50th year, I want to be more selective in how I choose to use my time, talents and energy. Careful about the people I allow to occupy my time, energy and space. These days I live for Love Alone.
Though the essence of true unconditional love from that special man has not found me as yet, I give thanks for all the wonderful men who have come into my life and taught me so much. I'd like to give a special thanks to my former husband who gave me a wonder son who has went on to become my greatest teacher. (Love you Nico). A special thanks to the late, Reginald Renaldo Williams for guiding me through my mid-life journey. R.I.P., I love you baby. Mad props to the late Brother Jahti Jackson Maasai for showing me what a real warrior King looks like.
As I move forward... My desire is to listen more and talk less. I hope my life reflects a life that has been spent in service to others; especially our youth. Though my journey has not yielded a lot of material success, I thank God for a life well lived. A life spent in service to humanity and for the cause of social, economic and environmental justice. GREEN FOR ALL!!!
As I move forward it is my hope that I will continue to serve humanity and provide wisdom to the young. None of us gets out this journey alive. I'm going to ride this thing called life until the wheels fall off. In the meantime, I'm FABULOUS, 50 and traveling L.I.T.E. (Loving, Inspired, Tenacious and Enduring). Keeping the faith and sharing light and love.
Wishing you love and best Intentions, AkaziaJ (a.k.a. junee').
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Objectification of Black Women: From Michelle Obama to Lil' Kim
It has been a minute since I posted a blog. I have been listening more to what others have to say. I feel that being a good listener is critical to being a good writer. It was my hope that this post would be brief, however, I must say that when the Divine touches my pineal gland, thoughts and words rapidly flow to the tips of fingers and on to the keyboard. Let me begin by acknowledging that I am well aware that women in general are objectified and that black men are objectified as well. The focus here is on black women. I would also like to point out that black women have made significant strides in all areas; home, work and community. That said, sit back and take this ride with me.
Now I know many of you may immediately become alarmed that I am using Michelle Obama and Lil' Kim in the same sentence. However, we must give Lil' Kim her props, she brought it on DWTS. In fact, it was LK that inspired me to write this blog post. Lil' Kim played the Becky (White girl) role to the max. She had the language, the gestures and even the misty doe eyed Barbie look. Yet, in spite of this and the fact that she did a great job to have not had prior ballroom dancing experience, she was still reduced to raw sex appeal and the girl with the "bionic booty". Yes, Lil' Kim has in large part has been duplicitous in this objectification of black women, but we will speak to internalized oppression later.
From FLOTUS ( First Lady of the US) to Lil' Kim black women are seen as sexualized beings, rather than the complex, multifaceted human beings that we are. Even the FLOTUS, despite being Princeton and Harvard educated, a loving mother and devoted wife can not escape an obsession with her biceps and buttocks. Many would argue that the feminization of the first lady is a welcomed change from what usually happens with black women. While I too celebrate the fact that Michelle has chosen to focus on her role as loving wife and mother, I think the media in some way trivializes her role when they focus almost exclusively on what she's wearing and if she is showing her arms. By the way, loved CAC's (Commander and Chief) joke about the FLOTUS right to "bare arms".
Historically, black women have been objectified and dehumanized. Archetype female representations such as Jezebel, Sapphire and more recently compliments of "hip hop", stank hoe, chicken head, gold digger etc. It is true that white women are equally objectified, however, their images tend to be that of virtuous, pure and even slightly frigid, while black women have been portrayed as innately promiscuous, seductive, alluring or lewd.
One of the most heinous examples of the sexual objectification of black womanhood was seen in the 19th century with Saartjie Baartman, The Hottentot Venus. Put on display in a circus for her large buttocks and labia, the Hottentot Venus could not escape sexual objectification and humiliation even in death; her skeleton, genitals and and brain were placed on display in a Paris museum until 1974. Upon his election as president of SA in 1994, Nelson Mandela petitioned the French government to have her remains returned. Baartman was returned to her homeland of South Africa in 2002.
Women's suffragist, Sojourner Truth asked in the 19th century, "Ain't I a Woman". It was only recently that the works and deeds of this inspiring leader of women of all races was honored with a bust of her likeness that will be displayed at Emancipation Hall at our nation's capitol. It is also worth noting that it is the first image of a black woman to grace our nation's Capitol.
Venus and Serena Williams, the best in the world of tennis bar none in my humble opinion are constantly referred to by their brute force and of course Serena's ass. Seldom does anyone mention that these talented women are also entrepreneurs and are fluent in several languages. The most of what we hear aside from the physical/sexual presence is that they grew up on the mean streets of Crenshaw in LA.
To think that the first woman to win a best actress academy award was Halle Berry for Monsters Ball. Berry played a tricked out grief stricken, drug addicted mother, who look to Billy Bob Thornton to make her "feel good" in a very sexually explicit down right trashy sex scene. This is in no way intended to demean or minimize the talents of Ms. Berry, however, I argue this was not her best performance. But it fed into the historical stereotypes of black womanhood.
Sadly, the sexual objectification is most prevalent in some facets of hip hop music. Far too many music videos and rap lyrics are laced with misogynistic representations that further perpetuate negative stereotypes of black womanhood. As I stated earlier some black women have been duplicitous in this sexual objectification. Lil Kim along with fellow female rappers like Remy Ma and Foxy Brown to a name a few. These misguided young sisters believe that they are hip-hop feminists in that they are claiming their sexuality. Lil' Kim has so internalized her oppression at the hands of mainstream America as well as the world of hip-hop that she has mutilated herself with surgery and skin bleaching to the point that she is almost unrecognizable as her former self. LK and MJ could indeed be the poster children for self-hatred and internalized oppression.
Most recently, we see the talented Ciara in a music video with none other than I knew nothing about the "wardrobe malfunction" - Justice Timberlake. As black people have spent our whole life trying to break the chains of white oppression and now a black woman is allowing a white boy to sexually objectify her in her own video. You draw your own conclusion, check out the article and video Love, Sex and Magic . Not to appear to pick on Ciara, I must say that lady Beyonce' needs to balance her act as well. I have no objection to the celebration of the female black body in all it's beauty. All I'm saying is "Back That Thang Up".
While I strongly believe in personal responsibility, I must also acknowledge that white men still control the distribution of what we see and hear on the air ways. Nevertheless, as a community and one of the largest
U. S. consumer groups, we can collectively change our images by not buying or supporting products that demean our people as whole and our most priceless jewel, our women.
Well, as I rap up my latest rant, I close by simply saying, we've come a long way from the out house to the white house, and we've still got a long way to go.
Now I know many of you may immediately become alarmed that I am using Michelle Obama and Lil' Kim in the same sentence. However, we must give Lil' Kim her props, she brought it on DWTS. In fact, it was LK that inspired me to write this blog post. Lil' Kim played the Becky (White girl) role to the max. She had the language, the gestures and even the misty doe eyed Barbie look. Yet, in spite of this and the fact that she did a great job to have not had prior ballroom dancing experience, she was still reduced to raw sex appeal and the girl with the "bionic booty". Yes, Lil' Kim has in large part has been duplicitous in this objectification of black women, but we will speak to internalized oppression later.
From FLOTUS ( First Lady of the US) to Lil' Kim black women are seen as sexualized beings, rather than the complex, multifaceted human beings that we are. Even the FLOTUS, despite being Princeton and Harvard educated, a loving mother and devoted wife can not escape an obsession with her biceps and buttocks. Many would argue that the feminization of the first lady is a welcomed change from what usually happens with black women. While I too celebrate the fact that Michelle has chosen to focus on her role as loving wife and mother, I think the media in some way trivializes her role when they focus almost exclusively on what she's wearing and if she is showing her arms. By the way, loved CAC's (Commander and Chief) joke about the FLOTUS right to "bare arms".
Historically, black women have been objectified and dehumanized. Archetype female representations such as Jezebel, Sapphire and more recently compliments of "hip hop", stank hoe, chicken head, gold digger etc. It is true that white women are equally objectified, however, their images tend to be that of virtuous, pure and even slightly frigid, while black women have been portrayed as innately promiscuous, seductive, alluring or lewd.
One of the most heinous examples of the sexual objectification of black womanhood was seen in the 19th century with Saartjie Baartman, The Hottentot Venus. Put on display in a circus for her large buttocks and labia, the Hottentot Venus could not escape sexual objectification and humiliation even in death; her skeleton, genitals and and brain were placed on display in a Paris museum until 1974. Upon his election as president of SA in 1994, Nelson Mandela petitioned the French government to have her remains returned. Baartman was returned to her homeland of South Africa in 2002.
Women's suffragist, Sojourner Truth asked in the 19th century, "Ain't I a Woman". It was only recently that the works and deeds of this inspiring leader of women of all races was honored with a bust of her likeness that will be displayed at Emancipation Hall at our nation's capitol. It is also worth noting that it is the first image of a black woman to grace our nation's Capitol.
Venus and Serena Williams, the best in the world of tennis bar none in my humble opinion are constantly referred to by their brute force and of course Serena's ass. Seldom does anyone mention that these talented women are also entrepreneurs and are fluent in several languages. The most of what we hear aside from the physical/sexual presence is that they grew up on the mean streets of Crenshaw in LA.
To think that the first woman to win a best actress academy award was Halle Berry for Monsters Ball. Berry played a tricked out grief stricken, drug addicted mother, who look to Billy Bob Thornton to make her "feel good" in a very sexually explicit down right trashy sex scene. This is in no way intended to demean or minimize the talents of Ms. Berry, however, I argue this was not her best performance. But it fed into the historical stereotypes of black womanhood.
Sadly, the sexual objectification is most prevalent in some facets of hip hop music. Far too many music videos and rap lyrics are laced with misogynistic representations that further perpetuate negative stereotypes of black womanhood. As I stated earlier some black women have been duplicitous in this sexual objectification. Lil Kim along with fellow female rappers like Remy Ma and Foxy Brown to a name a few. These misguided young sisters believe that they are hip-hop feminists in that they are claiming their sexuality. Lil' Kim has so internalized her oppression at the hands of mainstream America as well as the world of hip-hop that she has mutilated herself with surgery and skin bleaching to the point that she is almost unrecognizable as her former self. LK and MJ could indeed be the poster children for self-hatred and internalized oppression.
Most recently, we see the talented Ciara in a music video with none other than I knew nothing about the "wardrobe malfunction" - Justice Timberlake. As black people have spent our whole life trying to break the chains of white oppression and now a black woman is allowing a white boy to sexually objectify her in her own video. You draw your own conclusion, check out the article and video Love, Sex and Magic . Not to appear to pick on Ciara, I must say that lady Beyonce' needs to balance her act as well. I have no objection to the celebration of the female black body in all it's beauty. All I'm saying is "Back That Thang Up".
While I strongly believe in personal responsibility, I must also acknowledge that white men still control the distribution of what we see and hear on the air ways. Nevertheless, as a community and one of the largest
U. S. consumer groups, we can collectively change our images by not buying or supporting products that demean our people as whole and our most priceless jewel, our women.
Well, as I rap up my latest rant, I close by simply saying, we've come a long way from the out house to the white house, and we've still got a long way to go.
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